Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
