Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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