Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
