why didn't you poke me back
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Life is so much better after having sex.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
