I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
