was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
