so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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