god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
