dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
