I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
