So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
