I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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