OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
