I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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