totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
50% drunk capacity currently
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
