I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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