You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
