...so i touched it.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
