it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
