I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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