Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
