I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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