sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
