Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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