Kareoke will never be a sober sport
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
