why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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