wanna go halves on a baby?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
