Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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