I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
