I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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