I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
