Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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