just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
