MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
