You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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