I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
