After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
