I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
