Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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