I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
