can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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