My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
