It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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