I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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