Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
