Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
