I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
this hospital has no fireball
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
