Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
