I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
