Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
